Truth is often a bitter pill to swallow, and learning that your partner was with you merely to win a bet with his friends is a crushing blow.
The birth of our son, Junior, brought a temporary truce between his father and me. Seeing Maina cradle our newborn with a radiant smile made me hope that our past issues were behind us.
Maina came into my life a year into my campus education. One sunny day, he followed me in his white Volkswagen to the local church, telling me that I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. That morning, my mind was consumed with thoughts of him during the entire service, rendering me distracted and giddy.
Pastor Muiru’s sermon about the unconditional love Christ has for the church touched me deeply. He asked the women in the congregation, “And women?” We dutifully responded, “Submit to your husbands as…” I didn’t finish the verse, reminded of my high school biology classes where we used songs to remember our lessons.
I was eager for the service to end, so I could talk to Maina. At 22, he was repeating his final year of high school to better his grades. His determination to strive for the best, despite the challenges, drew me to him. When his school came under scrutiny for alleged cheating, he faced the storm head on, re-sitting his exams for the third time. His resilience through it all was admirable, and I stood by his side.
My decision to move in with Maina while we were both in University resulted in some challenges. I assumed the role of the housewife, taking care of all household chores while he focused on his studies. The importance he placed on his career made me feel like mine was insignificant in comparison.
Our different religious beliefs became a sore point when Maina asked me to join him in fasting for Ramadan. Raised in a devout Christian family, the thought of converting to Islam was a big sacrifice. Maina, however, was disappointed by my refusal and started seeing other women who were willing to convert.
When Maina invited one of these women, Aisha, into our home, I felt incredibly betrayed. He made it clear that he would only marry a woman who converted to Islam, and he was unyielding in his stance.
Despite the tension, we soon found out that we were expecting a baby. This news brought temporary joy and a pause in our conflicts. Maina was overjoyed and couldn’t wait to share the good news with his family. His joy was infectious, and I found myself swept up in his excitement.
In the months leading up to Junior’s birth, Maina was supportive, affectionate, and attentive. As a token of my appreciation, I decided to convert to Islam. He was elated and gave me a new name, Subra.
However, becoming a mother, converting to a new religion, and the wifely duties took a toll on me, and I had to quit school. My dream of a small, happy family was crumbling, but I held on. I hoped that these sacrifices would make Maina a more faithful partner.
Unfortunately, I discovered Maina’s affair with Aisha shortly after Junior’s birth. He justified his actions by saying that as a Muslim, he was allowed to have multiple wives. This led me to seek solace in an affair with an older lecturer from school.
Maina found out about this and kicked me out of the house, demanding that I leave Junior behind. I left with Junior while Maina was at school, and it resulted in a heated argument over the phone.
To make matters worse, one of the women Maina had promised marriage to was my younger sister, who took Junior to see him without my knowledge. The shock and betrayal I felt when my mother stumbled upon them at the supermarket was overwhelming.
My hope for a reunion with Maina was shattered when he confessed his love for my sister on social media. She told me that I was nothing more than the result of a bet Maina had made with his friends. Her tone, and her lack of remorse, devastated me.
My relationship with my sister ended after she moved in with Maina, despite warnings from our family. There has been pressure on me to forgive her, even though she has shown no signs of regret. Junior has been living with my mother since I decided to pursue my diploma again.
Even though Junior and his father maintain a relationship, I still feel like the loser in this scenario. However, things have started to look up for me in the past year, and I remain hopeful for the future.